I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
