I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
