I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
