Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
