she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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