I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
