Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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