Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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