what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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