New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
