You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
