took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
