you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize