this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
