wanna go halves on a baby?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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