you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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