Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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