discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Are my feet made of real feet?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
