he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize