She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize