just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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