so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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