I cockslap morals
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
