Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
