Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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