Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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