haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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