It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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