literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
