My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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