i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
they're like a gay fantastic four
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
