Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
