You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
