just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
