Me too!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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