THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize