Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need a beard to bite.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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