nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
