I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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