i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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