you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
