It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
