i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
