Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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