nut hugger
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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