You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize