dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize