yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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