A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
