It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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