Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
