Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
