Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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