Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
