This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
