Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
