Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
