Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize